It has come to my attention that I must be expecting. How lucky for me! How wonderful indeed! Throw a shower in my honor as is customary. But wait... I am not expecting. No. No I'm merely plump Madam. A chubby little girl who looks somehow worse in a uniform. Alas! Cruel world! How could you do this to me!?
It is simple really when you know how.
Amazing; is it not? Amazing when a complete stranger may gaze upon you and say these words "Oh, you're expecting?" Me? No... "Oh but I was looking at your stomach" Oh? Okay... It's $1.72... I'm not expecting, I am slouching very badly as this window is shorter than I am. "Have a nice day"
As I think to myself... are you serious? Should I ask you an ignorant question too? Should I say "Are you thinking of opening a hotdog stand? That's a mighty package of franks you've got hidden under your second chin". Or perhaps... "Pregnant? Yes. I will give birth to the twins Hatred and Malice. They will destroy all mankind starting with.... you..." Piffle I say.
I am merely shaped like the world... Round and filled with water. There are people constantly on my backside and tumults forever surrounding me.
To you; lady in the car I leave these words from a world shaped like me.... Ball sweat.
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