Serendipitydooda

I have a better sense of going home. I walk into the new place and think to myself "Yeah... I think I can finally settle in". I hope I'm right. This has been the bumpiest year of my life. Year #30 has been asssssanine. Irony if you believe in it would deliver me to apartment #30. I believe you would say serendipitous Mr Roving Jack.

Only 14 more days until the end of the year. Fate? What sort of laughter do you have in store?

Hark! I Hear Thy Boxes!

Boxes great and small, are sitting in the apartment hall. In a new place to call my own, an apartment with residents unknown!

Boxes, boxes everywhere! Packed and shipped and fully equipped... With what? I'm not sure. Oh how I tire of theeeeee moving!

If only I were a tree. I could sway gently in the breeze. The breeze, the breeze... oh how gentle and remorseful thou art!

Stupid boxes. If you had an ass I would kick it.

Boxes and boxes of petrified oxes...

Hm.

I Want to Be a Super Hero

If I were a super hero it would give me an excuse to wear spandex. Something super stretchy that people must by law forgive because you're saving humanity's ass. Oh yes, I'd wear fucking spandex. I'd wear thigh-high boots. And I'd have a super power that would allow me to defeat all the evil in the world. I'd even have a super hero name. I'd be Captain Fistfuck. Everything has an ass right? Everyone evil has one. They don't expect it. People of an evil persuasion would see me in my lycra and say "Well that's a super hero! You won't defeat me! *evil laughter*" I'd fix my steely blue eyes upon them and place my hands upon my hips in a heroic way. A sudden wind would come up and blow my cape about me. I would smile and say "You want to bet?" Then of course I'd laugh triumphantly. I'd raise a fist and they'd think I was going to hit them. Instead I'd just run behind them and shove my fist up their ass. I can see it now... Those exciting little bubbles you see in comic strips during action sequences. You can see "POW!" and "OOF!" in exciting little jagged bubbles.

Take that evil! Score five fingers for the home team! Make way for Captain Fistfuck.

Hello I've Come to Admire

I look at you from a distance and wonder just what it is you're thinking. It's probably not what I'm thinking. Which is probably a good thing. My mind is a wonderful gutter filled with dirty desires and sentimental attachments. It's a playground of good and evil. It sores to thoughts of love and drops to acts of lusty depravity. I doubt you're thinking as I do. When I see you at work, you're so intent on your actions. I'm sure you're really not thinking about work, but I suspect you're not thinking of me. That's okay, I'm thinking enough for the two of us. When you come to the place that I find my monetary situation growing by the hour, you're nice to me and make me smile. You're lucky there is a window or counter between the two of us... and security cameras... and a lot of people watching... Well... actually that probably only adds to the kinky play of thoughts in my head. No, I guess you're mostly just lucky there is a counter and/or a window that keeps me from you. There's no telling what might happen if you were to say "yes!" Alas... it's not meant to be. I can day-dream about you, and night dream too. It will never be. What ever 'being' happens to 'be' that is. You are only there for my thoughts and nothing more. I will never tell you what I'm thinking or how I feel when I see you. Even in jest. I will just serve you coffee like I do and we'll call it just a fantasy.

Shaped Like the World

It has come to my attention that I must be expecting. How lucky for me! How wonderful indeed! Throw a shower in my honor as is customary. But wait... I am not expecting. No. No I'm merely plump Madam. A chubby little girl who looks somehow worse in a uniform. Alas! Cruel world! How could you do this to me!?

It is simple really when you know how.

Amazing; is it not? Amazing when a complete stranger may gaze upon you and say these words "Oh, you're expecting?" Me? No... "Oh but I was looking at your stomach" Oh? Okay... It's $1.72... I'm not expecting, I am slouching very badly as this window is shorter than I am. "Have a nice day"

As I think to myself... are you serious? Should I ask you an ignorant question too? Should I say "Are you thinking of opening a hotdog stand? That's a mighty package of franks you've got hidden under your second chin". Or perhaps... "Pregnant? Yes. I will give birth to the twins Hatred and Malice. They will destroy all mankind starting with.... you..." Piffle I say.

I am merely shaped like the world... Round and filled with water. There are people constantly on my backside and tumults forever surrounding me.

To you; lady in the car I leave these words from a world shaped like me.... Ball sweat.