Muses Big and Small

Right now I'm thinking about puppets. Sock puppets without socks. Creating something more elaborate than I have so far. I was asked "Why do you make dolls?" and I said "Because I can".

It was funny to spend the entire day at work sitting on my ass and not serving coffee. It gave me an opportunity to sit down and talk to my co-workers, and to talk to my boss more. Politely he thinks we're all kind of fucked up and that he doesn't want to know any of outside of work. While he didn't actually come out and say that we're fucked up, he did indeed tell us that he didn't want to know us outside of work. Of course this was after I explained that my sophmore year of highschool I insisted that people call me "God". He acts as though it was yesterday and not nearly 20 years ago. Silly man.

I still want to be called God. You don't really need to do anything. Alls you have to do is simply 'be'. No work necessary and no need to truly care. That's what being God is all about. Just like the Hokey Pokey.

Fingers and a Pop Quiz

Fingers are for slicing. I've come to realize that. The general public wants to tell you that fingers are for grabbing things, picking things up, for touching people, for poking food. Fingers are for playing instruments, fingers are for making clothing, fingers are for drawing pictures. No. Fingers are for slicing. You can't tell me what fingers are for. I know what they're for. You won't lie to me. I won't heards your words. Fingers are for cleaning. No. Fingers are for slicing. Just because I happen to clean with them, that doesn't mean that they were meant for such menial tasks.

I am like a starfish. Fingers grow right back.

Okay... now pop quiz time. What are fingers for????

Auto Auto the Robot Girl

I didn't realize that I was a machine recording. I didn't realize you could just flip a switch on me and make me say what you wanted me to say. I could be knocked over with a feather. So shocked am I!

Forgive me, but I must chuckle.

The other day I answered the phone at work (as it was ringing and for some reason they get annoyed when you're not busy and you don't answer the phone when it's ringing.) With a cheerful patter and an apparently even cadence- I delivered my customary phone greeting. There is a slight pause as the man on the other end insists that he's tried calling on numerous occasions and left messages. It's apparently in the best interests of the person he was looking for to call him at his 1-800 number. Which he left like he was talking to an answering machine. I did not help matters by letting him talk free of interuption. I just stood there listening. Thinking half way through that the man on the other end feels he's reached a machine. Don't you usually leave a message after the beeps? Forgive me (and a thousand pardons to my ancestors) if beeps have been removed from message machines. He ends his message. I thought somewhere in there "Should I ask him if he thinks he's talking to a machine?" Then I realize that it would spoil my amusement to say anything. I hang up after he says 'good-bye'. My face was a priceless mask of incredulousity (don't know if that's a word, but it works so I'm using it. If 'ensorceled' can be a legit word, I'm using incredulousity.) She asks me "What?" I cannot answer. I start laughing and find that I cannot stop laughing. I even had to wipe away tears. So... I would like to thank the man that called up my place of work the other day. You've provided me with intense moments of unrestrained laughter. Thank you for your contribution to my amusement.